


Burn

by scottxlogan



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Uncanny X-Men - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18441227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottxlogan/pseuds/scottxlogan
Summary: Alex goes to Scott to speak up about his concerns with Scott over his connection to Logan. As Alex makes an appeal to his brother, Logan and Scott take a moment to consider their growing connection with one another. (Inspired by the current run of Uncanny X-Men)





	Burn

                “Scott, we need to talk,” Alex announced opening up the door to his brother’s bedroom only to discover Scott seated on the center of his bed with papers spread out on the sheet before him. Scott was shirtless and frowning as he held one of the pages in his hand clearly in deep thought upon Alex’s arrival. Taking in a breath Alex stepped further into the room and cleared his throat to alert his brother to his presence, “Scott?”

                “What’s on your mind, Alex?” Scott questioned never looking up from the page he was reading.

                “I think you know,” Alex sighed bringing the bedroom door to a close behind him. He stood in silence for a few moments saying nothing more as Scott finally dismissed the page in his fingers opting instead to look over at Alex from behind his red lenses.

                “I really don’t,” Scott began in a neutral tone before another long silence carried over them. He tipped his head to the side as if he was reading the clock on the nightstand before his face turned in Alex’s direction again, “It’s late. You should be resting.”

                “I could say the same for you, but here you are…” Alex stepped forward, “doing this. What is that exactly?”

                “Nothing you need to worry about,” Scott decided scooping up the pages and placing them in a neat pile on the center of the sheet before him, “So what is on your mind Alex?”

                “This,” Alex motioned to the room around them, “this entire situation we have going on here.”

                “What about it?” Scott shrugged, “Are you concerned about our mission tomorrow?”

                “It’s not the mission that has me worried,” Alex nodded towards the nightstand the clock was on while motioning to the extinguished cigar in the ashtray before him, “It’s that.”

                “What?” Scott questioned as he caught where his brother’s gaze had landed. Saying nothing Scott cleared his throat and sat up straighter on the bed. When Alex’s scowl intensified, Scott took in a slow, calming breath and spoke up in a neutral tone, “What about it?”

                “You know what,” Alex scoffed shaking his head at Scott, “What are you thinking Scott?”

                “That we have an early day tomorrow and…”

                “I’m not talking about the mission. I’m talking about you and Logan,” Alex chastised with a frown, “What the hell are you thinking Scott?”

                “That we have a mission in the morning and…” Scott repeated in a business as usual tone revealing nothing of his thoughts.

                “Fuck the mission Scott,” Alex raised his voice with agitation, “I want to know what the hell you are doing with that man right now.”

                “Logan has always been an asset to the team and…”

                “This isn’t about the team and you know it. This is about what the two of you are doing right now, right here.”

                “We’re trying to save what’s left of our kind  the only way we know how and make things right,” Scott snapped in recoil, “Logan and I are…”

                “Madness, yet everyone else around here seems to tiptoe about the issue and pretend that it’s not a big deal that the two of you are together again doing,” Alex nodded towards the pair of boots tossed haphazardly across the room near the bottom of the bed, “this.”

                “Alex,” Scott frowned in response.

                “Scott just stop pretending this isn’t a big deal. Before you tell me that this is about the mission and what we’re doing to save our kind, you need to think about just what it is that you are doing here. You can’t tell me that a part of you doesn’t realize that this isn’t right,” Alex continued with a heavy scowl, “You know what this does to you each and every time that you go down this road and…”

                “Alex,” Scott took in a calming breath, “I appreciate your concern, but…”

                “But nothing. I know how this destroys you each and every time you do this,” Alex continued worriedly, “The last time it damn near took you under and…”

                “Logan and I have an understanding with one another,” Scott explained in a neutral tone, “We’ve been through highs and lows together that no one could possibly understand and…”

                “He sent the entire force of the Avengers down upon you all because you had a disagreement on leadership views or have you forgotten that already?” Alex raised his voice with agitation, “He had everyone against you all because of his petty, obnoxious sense of entitlement and…”

                “Its water under the bridge,” Scott dismissed his words, “Things have changed.”

                “Have they?” Alex challenged taking a step forward, “Scott, I was there the last time things went down. I know what his walking away did to you and…”

                “Death changes a man Alex,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, “It makes you view things differently and…”

                “You died because he sent you down a path that…”

                “No,” Scott shook his head firmly, “I made my choice and my fate was mine alone.”

                “We lost you because you were so lost inside of yourself and…” Alex hesitated before looking around the room once again, “You know as much as Emma or Jean got under your skin, they were never able to do what he does. They could never come close to twisting you up inside like he always has and even now knowing the weight of importance that you put upon him not only on this mission, but with your heart…”

                “I appreciate your concern Alex, but I’ve got it under control,” Scott answered stiffly.

                “Do you?” Alex challenged motioning to the cigar again, “Because from where I stand I see you falling down the road to old habits and destructive behaviors with a man who will no doubt hurt you again just as soon as you bring him into your life again. It’s inevitable that Logan is going to destroy you Scott, yet here we are in a place where…”

                “Logan has kept us safe. He’s doing what he can to save us and…”

                “You don’t even like each other,” Alex reminded him with a huff, “He tried to kill you time and time again and…”

                “I’ve returned the favor,” Scott pointed out, “Don’t think that I haven’t. Logan and I have both worked hard to tear one another to pieces in the past and…”

                “…yet you’re always the one left holding your fractured heart in your hand while he’s off condemning you for being you,” Alex reminded him, “What kind of life is that Scott? What do you really hope to accomplish in all of this?”

                “I want to save us Alex. I need to find a way to make things right after everything that’s happened,” Scott answered readily, “I know that you might not understand it right now, but given all that we have ahead of us with this mission…”

                “I’m not talking about the mission,” Alex snapped back at him, “I’m talking about you and Logan and this…situation you’ve gotten yourselves into. You act as if it’s nothing…as if each and every time you bring him into your life that he doesn’t break your heart to pieces.”

                “Alex…”

                “Don’t pretend that it doesn’t happen to you Scott because I was there. I saw what losing him did to you. I watched when you were shattered over losing Jean, but the kind of pain that Logan brings to your life cuts deeper in a different way that…”

                “It’s none of your business Alex. I appreciate the concern but…”

                “You’re my brother. Of course it’s my business,” Alex argued with him, “I lost you once and I’ll be damned if I lose you again because Logan’s got too much pride inside of him to be loyal to you and…”

                “He’s loyal to the cause.”

                “I’m not talking about the cause. I’m talking about you Scott. How long is it going to be before he decides it’s time for you to suffer all over again? How long are the two of you just going to keep pretending that nothing is wrong with any of this here before it all falls apart? All you do is hurt each other time and time again and…”

                “That’s on me Alex,” Scott interrupted, “as much as you’d like to say what’s happened with Logan is his fault, it’s on me. I’m the one that did what I did and…”

                “He wasn’t innocent in any of what played out,” Alex pointed out.

                “Are any of us?” Scott questioned setting the pages aside before twisting on the bed. He placed his feet down on the floor and stood up moving in closer to Alex. Placing his hand on Alex’s shoulder, he let out a long, slow breath, “Look Alex, I understand why you are here and what you are trying to say, but I know what I’m doing. This mission is the most important thing and…”

                “He’s never going to feel for you what you feel for him Scott,” Alex blurted out with agitation, “I know you want to believe that one day you’ll both wake up and realize that the time is finally right for you to forget about the bullshit and be together, but that’s never going to happen. I know you aren’t naïve enough to believe that he’ll change when…”

                “Death changes a man Alex,” Scott squeezed his brother’s shoulder once again, “I know that you don’t understand that, but when I was gone there were things that…”

                “That what?”

                “That made me realize what was important,” Scott answered readily, “and as much as I don’t expect you to understand what’s happening with me, I can tell you that now that I’ve been given a second chance to get things right, I don’t want to blow them again. I want to prove that I’m more than the legacy that I left behind the last time I was here.”

                “I just don’t want to see you make the same mistakes twice Scott,” Alex softened his tone as he sighed, “He doesn’t deserve you Scott. He never did.”

                “It’s not about what any of us deserve,” Scott answered cryptically, “It’s about doing what’s best for our kind.”

                “What about what’s best for you?” Alex questioned as Scott removed his hand from his brother’s shoulder, “Do you really believe he’s what is best for you?”

                “Sleep would be best for all of us,” Scott stepped back and sighed, “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow morning.”

                “Scott, when are you going to see that you’re just going down a road where it ends badly for you? This façade that you’ve got going is only going to amount to disaster and…”

                “It’s my cross to bear then I suppose,” Scott conceded before patting Alex on the shoulder once again, “Get some rest little brother.”

                “I don’t want you hurt,” Alex replied unable to mask the defeat in his voice at Scott’s dismissal.

                “I won’t be,” Scott promised him, “I know what I’m doing.”

                “No,” Alex sighed, “I don’t think you do and I’m not sure I’m ready to watch it fall to pieces again in leaving you like it did the last time.”

                “It’s not about the past now Alex,” Scott assured him, “it’s just about holding onto the future—what little of it we have left ahead of us.”

                “Scott,” Alex hesitated before nodding, “Just be careful alright.”

                “I’m always careful,” Scott couldn’t help, but offer a teasing hint of a grin knowing of Alex disapproving of his decision.

                “No, you aren’t and that’s what terrifies me in all of this,” Alex conceded giving Scott another long look before reluctantly walking out of the bedroom seemingly just as agitated as he was when he’d arrived.

                Upon his departure Scott moved forward closing the bedroom door again and locking it in silent contemplation when he heard the sound of footsteps from the bathroom behind him.

                “How long have you been standing there?” Scott questioned not bothering to look back over his shoulder.

                “Long enough,” Logan answered gruffly.

                “What did you hear?”

                “Enough.”

                “Well then,” Scott lowered his head double checking the latch of the lock on the door before turning around and spotting Logan standing before him in a beige colored towel that was loosely tied around his waist, “How was the shower?”

                “Not as invigorating as I’d hoped for,” Logan replied as Scott crossed over to the bed once again, “These old bones aren’t as resilient as they once were.”

                “Are any of us?” Scott questioned with a sardonic smile before stretching out on the sheets. He reached for his papers again before Logan stepped forward.

                “He’s right you know,” Logan motioned towards the door, “This is madness.”

                “Do you want to put a stop to it?” Scott questioned skimming over his notes on the page before him once again.

                “No,” Logan answered without hesitation.

                “Then there’s your answer,” Scott shrugged his shoulders as Logan made his way over to the bed.

                “He’s right. I have hurt you,” Logan’s voice softened as Scott set his notes down in his lap once again. With a sigh he raised his chin up and met Logan’s eyes again.

                “It’s nothing more than I can handle,” Scott stated plainly, “I’m resilient.”

                “Even so,” Logan crawled across the bed until he was kneeling over Scott on the mattress. Saying nothing he reached out to skim his thick finger over the side of Scott’s stubble covered cheek, “this has to take its toll on you.”

                “Death was nothing in comparison to the price I had to pay in dealing with the way it felt with us being apart,” Scott leaned into Logan’s touch, “Pain I can handle, but a life without you…”

                “I’ll inevitably hurt you,” Logan softened his tone when his thumb brushed over the center of Scott’s plump, waiting lips.

                “We’ve hurt one another in more ways than we’ll ever recover from,” Scott agreed with him, “I hold no illusions about what we are to one another.”

                “Is that right?” Logan questioned as Scott’s fingers stretched out to skim over the top of his towel, teasing over the sloppy knot that Logan had held it together with.

                “We never liked one another,” Scott tipped his chin up to focus on Logan’s features, “I realize that. You hate me and I have also come to accept that hatred. I know that nothing I do or say will ever change that between us and I must carry the burden of my actions as a consequence from here on out, but as with everything else…”

                “I don’t hate you,” Logan frowned.

                “How could you not?” Scott questioned with an ironic laugh, “After everything that’s happened how could I hold any place in your heart, but in the contempt you feel towards me and my actions?”

                “Slim, that’s not why…” Logan’s lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl.

                “I can deal with your hatred,” Scott explained leaning in closer to him, “I can handle your fury and your rage, but what I cannot take is your absence in my life right now. Logan, I need you. That’s the only thing I’m truly certain of in all of this.”

                “I ain’t good for your Slim,” Logan whispered bringing his hand over Scott’s shoulder and coaxing him back onto the mattress in a firm, unexpected press. With the movement Scott fell back into the pillows causing his pages to scatter across the bed and onto the floor beside where they were with one another, “I’ve caused you so much pain.”

                “I need the pain,” Scott explained as Logan’s fingers threaded through his hair forcing Scott’s head back into the pillows in a rough, urgent tug. Soon after Logan’s lips were roughly pressing kisses over Scott’s skin, his teeth nipping at the soft flesh of his neck leading down over his shoulder where Logan followed up with a sharp bite into his muscle. It caused Scott to whimper and twist bringing his hands around Logan’s shoulders to encourage the connection between them, “I crave this madness.”

                “You’re my greatest weakness,” Logan confessed as Scott’s hands tore at the towel that Logan had wrapped around his thick waist. In an instant it was on the floor with Scott’s papers, scattered among the last shred of logic as their lips were fused together in a raw, desperate kiss. Logan’s hands roamed over Scott’s lean, muscular frame with hands working to push the pinstriped pajamas Scott was wearing down over his hips, far past his thighs and onto the bottom of the bed as Scott curved his legs up to wrap them around Logan, locking them around his bottom in a tight, urgent grasp. It caused Logan to growl and pull back searching the red glasses before him in an attempt to seek out that source of the fire the burned between them. When Scott’s lower lip trembled upon Logan’s hand over his cheekbone, Logan spoke up in a raw, aching whisper, “You’ll be the death of me this time around. I hope you realize that.”

                “I know,” Scott confessed scratching his nails down over Logan’s back as Logan’s hands squeezed at his hips, crushing into his muscular thighs before fingers reached down between them to touch that part of Scott that he’d only allowed himself to explore with Logan over him, inside of him and causing him to break free of the chains he’d carried with him as a burden of his actions through the years. Saying nothing more, Scott released a breath and a whimper when Logan squeezed at his hip, coaxing Scott to flip around onto his abdomen on the bed. In a matter of seconds he was on his hands and knees positioned for Logan, ready and waiting without his pride or any sense of logic or reason. Instead he was a slave to the beast, caught up in the feel of Logan’s power and his fury, captive to his rage and his passion with Logan over him, working his way inside of Scott without thought or reason—simply holding on to the madness, embracing it and reveling in it until their coupling left any thoughts or concerns about what was happening under the table again avoided in favor of lust and urgency.

                “Slim,” he could hear Logan’s voice panting, raw and urgent with each reckless thrust Logan made inside of his body, hard and wild, pushing and tearing away at the barriers between them until Scott was pushing back against Logan, reveling in the feel of Logan’s hands over him, under him, pushing up to squeeze at his throat, keeping him grounded and on edge at the same time, forcing him to abandon all of the anguish and torment he’d carried with him in favor of lust and insanity holding onto the raw ache of knowing that he’d never quite have what he’d always longed for. With Logan inside of him it was easier than talking, far simpler to give in to instinct and lose control in ways that he could never put to words. His heart was pounding, body covered with a layer of sweat and as Logan reached down beneath him to stroke at his hardened manhood Scott whimpered and bit down on his lip. He kept his eyes closed knowing that despite his urgency Alex was right—Logan would tear him to pieces all over again. It was inevitable and yet Scott was ready to allow it to happen—to take him damn near over the edge as long as he could have these moments in the calm before the storm. Their ending was inevitable, but these moments were truly the only thing that Scott could hold onto in making him feel alive for the first time since his death.

xxxx

 

                “We can’t keep doing this,” Logan’s voice pulled Scott from his moment of quiet solace as he kept his head over the damp center of Logan’s chest. He could feel Logan’s fingertips tracing over his spine charting a familiar path as Logan’s touch softened, growing tender in his gentle petting across Scott’s skin.

                “I know,” Scott rubbed his fingers through the damp, dark hair beneath him as he savored the scent of the man he’d fallen into bed with time and time again before their untimely ending with one another. Now as they held onto one another, he shivered with fear knowing that their time was running on empty with one another inevitably going to disappear before they could truly savor what was there between them.

                “I hurt you,” Logan sighed tracing the spot over Scott’s spine where the scars had once served as a reminder of their madness with one another.

                “It was another lifetime,” Scott sighed knowing that while his skin had healed in his rebirth, his memory still remained serving as a sign that their time together had been surrounded by madness. Their parting of ways had been brutal, severing so many things between them before they’d both left the world, “We’re different now.”

                “Are we?” Logan questioned squeezing Scott in closer to him, “Where does this end for us?”

                “Right back where it began,” Scott sighed nestling his head on that spot over Logan’s chest that he’d silently claimed as his own years ago. He eased his fingers over Logan’s abdomen simply content in holding him for the few quiet moments they shared while the rest of the team was off in the bar resting and preparing for the day ahead of them.

                “I don’t want it to end the same way it did before,” Logan broke through Scott’s thoughts, “Dying was easy, but losing you was hard. Damn hard.”

                “Then we don’t make the same mistakes again,” Scott offered up knowing that the words were empty promises of a life that would forever be out of their reach.

                “I can’t lose you again,” Logan’s voice carried an uncharacteristic hint of emotion, yet Scott said nothing opting instead to savor the moment and the promise of a life that would never be for them, “You were right in what you said to Alex. Death changes a man. It makes him realize what he’s lost and in knowing that you find yourself not wanting to repeat the same mistakes over and over again no matter what the cost.”

                “We can end this,” Scott replied behind closed eyelids, “If that’s what you want…”

                “I don’t,” Logan interrupted with firmness in his tone, “I just know that when reality sets in…”

                “It’s late,” Scott finally offered up with a small breath, “We have a long day ahead of us.”

                “Not long enough for us to keep putting this off,” Logan decided curling his arm tighter around Scott, “We can’t keep avoiding it you know. Alex is right about that.”

                “I suppose he is,” Scott stated simply as they fell to silence once again.

                “I don’t hate you,” Logan offered up quietly.

                “Sure you do,” Scott laughed more so to himself than anything in the moment, “and I understand why you need to carry that with you. I deserve your hatred.”

                “I don’t have it for you,” Logan argued the point further, “I never really did. I just wanted you to keep fighting for us all.”

                “I never stopped fighting Logan,” Scott answered drawing in a slow breath, “The fight just changed and in turn…”

                “…it changed us,” Logan finished for him, “It changed this.”

                “I know,” Scott held onto him tighter.

                “Everything is different now,” Logan confessed as Scott pulled himself up off of Logan’s chest to finally address the issue between them.

                “Is it?” Scott challenged memorizing the lines of Logan’s face beneath him with his eyes looking so lost and caught up in a sentiment that seldom held a place in their couplings.

                “Slim I…I just…” Logan held back on his thoughts, “I don’t hate you. I couldn’t…”

                “I deserve nothing less,” Scott smiled poignantly; “I hate myself for all that I’ve allowed to happen through the years.”

                “What about this?” Logan questioned pushing his fingers through Scott’s damp, dark hair, “Do you hate yourself for this?”

                “Sometimes,” Scott admitted honestly. Drawing in a breath he touched the side of Logan’s face watching as Logan reveled in the embrace, “but I need it far too much to ever allow sentiment to destroy what we’ve created with one another.”

                “There’s never been room for sentiment between us, has there?” Logan offered up with a somber laugh at their reality.

                “It’s easier that way,” Scott pulled back from the embrace opting instead to place his head down on Logan’s chest once again.

                “Is it?” Logan questioned as they both knew it would go without answer. Instead they lay together in the darkness tangled up with one another in the blankets and limbs caught up in something that neither one of them could readily put to words. For a while they stayed that way until Logan spoke up in a voice so quiet that Scott wondered if he’d imagined it, “Slim I…I just need you to know that before we go into this thing tomorrow that what this is between us is…”

                “You don’t have to say it,” Scott answered in a quiet whisper.

                “I want to,” Logan argued with him. He brought his arm around Scott’s waist reaching for Scott’s hip as his free hand pushed up over Scott’s on Logan’s chest to hold it in a small, tender squeeze, “Scott I…what I’m saying is that I…well, I just…with what we have…I…I just need you to know that I…what I’m saying is that what you and I have in how I feel about you is… Slim, I…I just need you to know that I lo…”

                “I know,” Scott offered up serving an out to Logan’s momentary lapse in emotion. Instead of allowing him to slip into sentiment, Scott returned the squeeze of Logan’s fingers and nestled in closer against Logan’s chest offering up the briefest admission of an emotion that they wouldn’t dare share with one another in the waking hours outside of their bedroom with one another, “I do too.”


End file.
